March 28, 2008, Square Haven has ceased updates indefinitely. Don't despair, however; the work started here more than ten years ago continues at Videogam.in.

Matt's news articles

357 total articles over the course of 3030 days (0.118 articles a day and 29.73% of all articles)
12/17/07
Three new titles to North American portables next spring
12/05/07
A mélange of release dates for Europe
12/04/07
Square Enix lineup for Jump Festa '08 announced
10/04/07
Front Mission 2089: Border of Madness trailer revealed
09/25/07
Square Enix to devote more attention to U.S., European markets
08/16/07
Hilariously exaggerated press release accompanies Heroes of Mana
12/03/06
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Clause; Square Enix bringing Destiny's Child Groove to your mobile phone
09/26/06
Infidelity! Recreancy! Square Enix expresses ambivalence toward PS3
08/02/06
R.I.P. E3
07/26/06
BREAKING NEWS: Kingdom Hearts voice actor reveals that he is a flaming fag
07/07/06
Final Fantasy III DS "e-mail" feature revealed
05/25/06
More Final Fantasy VII remake blab
02/27/06
Princess Peach whoring out pictures in the UK
01/19/06
Advent Children actually being released in North America eventually
10/25/05
Dragon Quest VIII shipping early
08/24/05
Preposterous 79th consecutive Advent Children delay cited
08/22/05
Square Enix ventures Taito acquisition
07/31/05
Richard Simmons to voice Tingle in upcoming Zelda
06/24/05
Veritable shit currently the butress of the Japanese gaming industry
06/16/05
Vin Diesel signed for Hitman movie; 1% statistical chance of being good
05/03/05
Mistwalker reveals first X-Box 360 title
04/16/05
Disgruntled Chinese geeks suspect in Final Fantasy XI server woes
03/30/05
Famitsu mystery title is Grandia III
01/22/05
Justice in Japan: woman arrested for deleting save data
12/18/04
Nami Tamaki lauded by publisher
12/15/04
Drakengard 2 reportedly in the works
12/14/04
Dear Friends concert series to begin in February
12/13/04
Jump Festa 05 website launched
12/02/04
Advent Children coming sometime next year probably
11/29/04
Bakusou, Yankee Tamashii servers terminated
11/22/04
Japanese foaming at the mouth for Dragon Quest VIII
11/10/04
US launch of Halo 2 the single most profitable day in media history
10/27/04
Hori releasing slime PS2 controller in time for Dragon Quest VIII
09/10/04
PSP already a dismal failure
09/01/04
Final Fantasy I & II Advance titled and dated for North America
08/02/04
Square Enix explores possibility of theatrical release for Advent Children
08/01/04
Katamari Damacy budget priced for September release
07/12/04
Square Haven reviews section upgraded; note to users: yes, we have reader reviews!
07/09/04
Nintendo reveals Famicom Mini Series 3 titles and that they are STUPID MOTHER FUCKING SHITFACES
06/29/04
Japanese gaming market continues downward spiral into woeful oblivion
06/19/04
Population of N-Gage owners now at least 693
06/17/04
Square Enix shocker: Dragon Quest VIII to be released before the end of current millennium
06/16/04
Census of useless Final Fantasy XI data now available
06/16/04
Nokia assures N-Gage's perpetual pirouette into dismal mediocrity
06/09/04
Reports of PS2 hardware peak are incessant "bullshit"
06/01/04
Fat ass gamers find weight relief with DDR
04/14/04
Square Enix confirms E3 titles
04/14/04
Nokia unveils slightly less crappy N-Gage
04/09/04
Final Fantasy I & II ported to Game Boy Advance
03/31/04
Austrian doctor encourages world to pick and eat its nutrient-filled, delicious boogers
03/24/04
More Front Mission 4 demo details
03/17/04
Nintendo Espana debuts Girly Boy
03/15/04
Take-Two to publish Drakengard in Europe and Australia
03/14/04
Georgia woman tries to buy Drakengard with one million dollar bill; not informed that there is no such thing, or that Drakengard sucks
03/10/04
Square Enix offering free Front Mission 4 demo disks in exchange for personal information
02/06/04
Front Mission 4 confirmed for June release
01/31/04
New Final Fantasy XI expansion possible
01/16/04
Final Fantasy XI packaging revealed
01/12/04
Sony Europe predicts PSP price: YOUR SOUL
01/07/04
Over 500,000 geeks congregate to PlayOnline
12/08/03
ActRaiser trademark re-registered by Square Enix
11/25/03
Ingenius gamers developing online Double Dash!!
11/21/03
Squenix's comment on the PSP: "no comment"
11/18/03
Much to Hiroshi Yamauchi's chagrin, Final Fantasy Tactics Advance sales exceed 1.5 million
11/08/03
Zelda bonus disc announced
11/05/03
Six Square titles to Greatest Hits
11/05/03
Early Final Fantasy X-2 release anticipated
10/23/03
Grand Theft Auto instigates lawsuit against Sony, Take-Two, Wal-Mart
10/21/03
N-Gage a dismal failure
10/16/03
Ex-Girlfriend playing Virtua Fighter with some other guy now
10/10/03
Gamecube selling fast -- not unlike hotcakes
10/06/03
Nintendo posts first ever profit loss
09/23/03
Surprise Gamecube price drop?
09/23/03
Stubborn Final Fantasy VII-2 buzz persists
09/19/03
EXCLUSIVE!!! Final Fantasy VII-2 confirmed for PSP
09/18/03
Final Fantasy XI, PS2 hard drive in March
09/16/03
Free preview disc with Mario Kart Double Dash!! preorder
09/06/03
More fucking Final Fantasy VII-2 rumors
09/03/03
Final Fantasy X inaugurated into Greatest Hits
09/03/03
PS2 and PSOne games compatible with PS3
08/26/03
Disney says Kingdom Hearts II at TGS; TV show rumored
08/22/03
Front Mission First release date anounced
08/22/03
Free Earthbound toys when you drink delicious Coca-Cola
08/22/03
Box art for Savior of All Video Games released
08/22/03
New details of figmental console released, imaginary "developers" still unnamed
08/18/03
Nintendo says nay to new console in '05, boo to PSP
08/12/03
Porn star running for California Governor; America once again proven to be best country on Earth
08/10/03
Rejoice! Bakusou! Yankee Tamashii demo now available
08/10/03
Gamers laugh all the way to the bank; Nintendo to start rewarding you for buying games
07/29/03
Hollywood blames Eidos for shitty box office weekend
07/08/03
Final Fantasy III Game Boy port apparently still under consideration
06/28/03
New SP color to commemorate Sword of Mana
06/24/03
Devastating blow to Gamecube owners: Acclaim to discontinue support
06/20/03
Naked man scares shark to death
06/17/03
Atari to be inexorable harbinger of Unlimited SaGa to PAL territories
06/16/03
Nintendo slaps some bitches. With bitch slaps.
06/14/03
Sell your SPs! Game Boy is for 10 year olds, says Nokia
06/11/03
Final Fantasy X-2, Crystal Chronicles this November
06/10/03
Two new GBA SP colors for North America
06/10/03
Not that I really care, but Nintendo drops Gamecube price in Canada
06/04/03
Who will carry on my PlayStation 2 adventures after I'm gone?
06/02/03
Crystal Chronicles delayed in Japan
06/02/03
Researchers develop Spider-Man gloves
05/31/03
68-page EverQuest treatise written by economist geek
05/30/03
BREAKING NEWS: video games actually not so bad for you after all
05/30/03
Viewtiful Joe rocks pro wrestling world
05/30/03
Nintendo invests in next-gen console, portable, replacements for Mario and Pokemon
05/24/03
Nintendo considers Wind Waker sequel
05/22/03
Square Enix says Final Fantasy XII by March '04, Dragon Quest VIII "in a few years maybe"
05/22/03
Splinter Cell sequel announced with online multiplayer capabilities
05/20/03
Triton Labs developing wireless GBA linking solution
05/20/03
Sorry, Klingon interpreters, Oregon's not hiring
05/15/03
Shigeru Miyamoto and Will Wright collaborate on new GCN and GBA Sims
05/15/03
Surprise! Twin Snakes will make use of GCN-GBA connection
05/15/03
Nintendo reveals 2003 release dates. Well, most of them.
05/15/03
Square staff meets for soberingly boring FFXI interview
05/13/03
Sony: "Final Fantasy XI, PS2 hard drive in 2004"
05/05/03
EA will reveal This Sims sequel at E3
05/03/03
Console price cuts confirmed, prices not
04/28/03
Console price-drop rumored for E3
04/27/03
Square Enix developing world's only biker gang MMORPG
04/21/03
Sony confronts bump in the PS3 road
04/19/03
Mario Kart GCN apparently not online, but Nintendo has another God-damned, mother fucking peripheral for you to buy anyway
04/19/03
Washington state makes selling murder simulators a class 1 civil infraction (a really bad crime)
04/19/03
Shinyaku Seiken Densetsu will feature co-op play
04/16/03
Sega and Namco discuss merging
04/11/03
Nintendo will cut royalty fees but still appear to be cheap douschebags
04/03/03
Capcom to withdraw Gamecube support in favor of PS2, Xbox
04/01/03
Square Enix opens Japanese, US websites
03/28/03
Tecmo to gamers: "stop looking at our busty, voluptuous volley ball girls in a sexual, perverted manner, you fucking pervs"
03/26/03
Final Fantasy Tactics Advance heading to America, and if they're lucky, Canada
03/25/03
US Navy deceives na?ve dolphin to do bidding
03/18/03
Iowa unviels giant Cheeto as tourist attraction
03/12/03
Crystal Chronicles delayed and/or canceled because of fucking France
03/12/03
More copies of Zelda already sold than of times I had sex with your mom
02/28/03
Square considering FFIII for Wonderswan
02/27/03
Mr. Rogers dead
02/25/03
Pikmin 2 revealed
02/25/03
Miyamoto says new GBA Zelda in the works
02/21/03
In Britain, Jedi religion more popular than Jewish, Buddhist
02/18/03
Wonderswan discontinued
02/16/03
Square testing FFXI for North America
02/14/03
Regarding the Sega/Sammy merger, investors want nothing to do with that shit
02/13/03
From the publisher that brought you Grand Theft Auto and Mafia comes... Piglet's BIG Movie: The Game
02/11/03
Dude, you got busted!
02/10/03
Microsoft recalls Kokuto Chojin; an enraged Allah, crappiness cited as motives
02/10/03
Working Designs considering GBA development
02/09/03
Depressed roommate hitting the Gamecube pretty hard
02/05/03
The AIAS announces 2003 nominees
02/05/03
Today's Penny Arcade comic actually kind of funny
02/02/03
Nasdaq may kick Acclaim off the market
02/01/03
Enix America first casualty of Square-Enix merger
01/30/03
Digicube offers FFX-2 preorder bonus of "Yuna strap-on" for your "phone"
01/27/03
Ikaruga coming to North America in April; Sharleen Hii reportedly elated
01/23/03
Metroid movie announced, established into Jeff Lundrigan's coveted "it's about time" column
01/21/03
Activision inks deal with dreamworks, will make really shitty games from inevitably horrible movies
01/21/03
Capcom to Nintendo: "please buy our shitty, depreciated stock"
01/17/03
Link's boys clearly visible in Soul Calibur 2
01/14/03
Good news for you: pre-marital sex now legal in Georgia
01/14/03
Enix will opt to broadcast news directly into brains
12/28/02
Final Fantasy XII poster, staff members revealed
12/28/02
Nintendo's MEGATON announcement actually Giftpia
12/22/02
Capcom denies Nintendo buyout, is "no one's bitch"
12/20/02
Ghost of Christmas Future taunts children with visions of PlayStation 5
12/12/02
Square, Enix may collaborate together for online Dragon Quest title
12/11/02
JaRule likes looking at naked boobs and taking pictures of them
12/11/02
Playboy, Hugh Hefner create gaming franchise
12/11/02
People are buying Xboxes in Australia
12/09/02
Parasite Eve remake rumored to be first Square Enix project
12/06/02
Sega re-opens European offices, fails to realize that no one owns Xboxes there
12/05/02
Ocarina of Time, Ura Zelda included in US Zelda
11/23/02
nVidia presents 'dawn of cinematic computing' in the form of sexy, super hot pixie
11/19/02
'Beltway Sniper' video-game release delayed out of respect for victims
11/19/02
The British apparently dirty, perverted, filthy sluts
11/11/02
Squirrel terrorizes British town
11/07/02
Final Fantasy I & II, Unlimited SaGa coming to North America
11/06/02
Square considering Final Fantasy VII sequel
11/05/02
Coolest couple ever have Final Fantasy XI wedding
11/05/02
Industry sees biggest ironic incident since Street Fighter III
10/30/02
Nintendo sued for $165 million; allegedly stole candy from babies
10/26/02
Final Fantasy X-2 site launches
10/26/02
Jackass: The Movie "the single most irresponsible movie ever released"
10/24/02
Final Fantasy X-2 dialogue translations
10/22/02
Final Fantasy X - 2 media
10/20/02
There is a bug... humping my calculator.
10/18/02
First Look: Final Fantasy X - 2
10/17/02
Ignorant simpletons and vapid buttmunches flock to Square Haven to post reader reviews
10/16/02
Square plans debut of new game; Pro-Logic Mah-Jong Hai-Sin II suspected
10/15/02
Various retailers: "This game is stupid. We do not carry stupid games. Oh, wait... we do have Egg Mania: Eggstream Madness... Nevermind..."
10/12/02
Final Fantasy XI PC coming to America, says Yoichi Wada
10/09/02
Final Fantasy XI exceeds 120,000 users; North American release in question?
10/09/02
GBA2 rumors persist
10/09/02
24 year-old Korean man dead; Warcraft III suspected
10/06/02
Amigo the Ninja Squirrel stars in Unlimited SaGa
10/06/02
Sony, Nintendo, Konami currently hold top Japanese gaming markets
10/05/02
Microsoft: "ah aim ta kill yoo with it. mmhm."
10/04/02
Nintendo slashes sales expectations, blames Germans
09/22/02
Square holds Dell Japan at gunpoint, forces manufacturer of electronic goods to unwillingly pre-install FFXI on desktops
09/21/02
Square teases FF geeks with titillating Another Lord poster
09/20/02
Nintendo responsible for absence of Crystal Chronicle at TGS. Those fuckers.
09/20/02
Sony presents cum-colored PS2 to Japanese gamers
09/14/02
Rare: sold, slapped, and kicked in the ass on the way out the door
09/13/02
Miyamoto speak. You listen.
09/06/02
Greece: "Video games... bah!"
08/26/02
Final Fantasy XII, two unknown titles to be revealed at TGS
08/23/02
Metroid Prime/Metroid Fusion GCN/GBA connectivity apparently 'truly unbelievable.'
08/21/02
Ikaruga on Gamecube.
08/21/02
Famitsu reveals new details on Square/Nintendo products
08/16/02
Grand Theft Auto IV details, screens revealed in some crappy magazine
08/16/02
Super Monkey Wireless Ball
08/14/02
FF: Crystal Chronicle: first footage
08/13/02
New media: Final Fantasy I & II
08/12/02
Vivendi Universal: "video games... bah!"
08/12/02
Single Reason For Owning An Xbox delayed to 2003
08/12/02
Acclaim gives away cash, free shit to stupid gamers
08/11/02
Free Super Monkey Ball crap!
08/11/02
Electronic Arts announces DefJam Wrestling, new EA music label
08/07/02
Disney auctioning off 25 copies of Kingdom Hearts
08/05/02
New Zelda screens, Zelda Rap movie
08/03/02
Tecmo confirms DOA Volleyball initially a perverted title for pervs
08/02/02
Kojima's Gamecube title Eclipse confirmed
08/01/02
Infogrames: "We ain't no one's bitch"
07/31/02
New Media: Doom III
07/31/02
Additions to be made to Skies of Arcadia port, sequel rumored
07/29/02
Super Mario RPG rumored for GBA release
07/27/02
FF XI reportedly still plagued with rabid bugs; Square, disillusioned, refuses to exterminate
07/24/02
Final Fantasy III WSC officially canned according to Stephen Wilson
07/23/02
No news today.
07/23/02
Microsoft said to have recently attempted to acquire both Sega and Square
07/23/02
New somewhat-impressive Super Mario Sunshine screens
07/21/02
BREAKING NEWS: IGN sucks nuts
07/12/02
New media: The Resident of Evil Creek 0
07/11/02
This September... Christ will die, Satan will reign supreme, and Maxis will ship the unblessedly profane fifth The Sims expansion pack among Hell on Earth
07/10/02
Unlimited SaGa revealed
07/10/02
BREAKING NEWS: Playing video-games makes you stupid
07/10/02
IGN attempts to uncover truth on Rare multi-platform issue, comes up empty handed, publishes ridiculously irrelevant article anyway
07/10/02
THQ, Inforames among publishers Sega looking to purchase
07/06/02
Reader Reviews go live
07/03/02
Quit your job, dump your friends, give your family the finger and play Everquest full-time
07/02/02
And the Lord blessed us thusly... with Contra
07/02/02
Prisoner flees jail in cardboard box
06/30/02
Console race over; some magazine rates Xbox as best gaming console
06/27/02
Entire future of online gaming rests solely on Star Wars and The Sims
06/25/02
Mmm... Monkey Balls...
06/21/02
Final Fantasy XII logo officially the shittiest logo of all time
06/21/02
RIAA pleads to narcs: 'squeal on fellow employees'
06/20/02
Presenting: The Super Premium Square Haven VIP Message Forums of Death!!!
06/20/02
IGN offers free week of Insider... FOR YOUR SOUL!
06/19/02
Square purchases Ogre Battle developers. Like slaves.
06/12/02
Conundrum ensues: Gamecube Final Fantasy not actually Final Fantasy?
06/06/02
Final Fantasy Adventure Bible in the lap of the Gods
06/06/02
FF XI PC this year, damages estimated
06/06/02
Europeans stand together, demand ban on Xbox ad; Europe complies, bans said ad
06/04/02
Ticketless Baby Refused Entry to Game
06/04/02
Thai girl fails to complete Bomberman, kills self
06/04/02
RPGFan posts extremely uninteresting interview with Enix
06/01/02
Final Fantasy X spin-off titles confirmed
05/30/02
Tingle to appear in GC Zelda
05/29/02
Procrastination desists; Square Haven launches; world peace, Star Wars on DVD expected to follow
05/25/02
Yamauchi steps down, appoints elaborate team of monkeys to succeed
05/25/02
Lance Bass, other actors of lesser importance flock to voice Kingdom Hearts
05/23/02
Solid Snake Pro Skater revealed at E3 in all its magnificent glory
05/17/02
Famitsu reviews Final Fantasy XI
05/17/02
Final Fantasy XI launches, PlayOnline crashes, Square associates resort to uncontrollable sobbing
05/14/02
Sony apparently hires monkeys to test broadband units, royally fucks up
05/14/02
Holy shit! He-Man game in the works
05/13/02
Gamecube online this fall
05/13/02
Capcom sucks, loses money in 2001
05/09/02
Orchestrated concert "20020220" released on CD
05/08/02
Namco develops new Star Fox, confirms GC, GBA releases
05/07/02
Nintendo hires array of geeks to play games
05/07/02
Nintendo invests healthy amount in Retro
05/07/02
GameSpot launches pay service, offers free month
05/06/02
Ingressive PS3 development slated for 2005
05/02/02
Square outlines future strategies for investors, reiterates FF as priority
04/23/02
Seamus Blackley leaves Microsoft
04/23/02
Enix plans original RPG for Game Boy Advance
04/05/02
EverQuest addict quits job, kills self
04/03/02
KingdomHearts.com launches
03/30/02
Sega, Nintendo collaborate on new F-Zero title
03/30/02
EA Sports BIG readies role-playing platformish sports racing BMX freeriding title
03/30/02
Square unveils soccer title
03/30/02
GameSpy appoints 30 most influential people in gaming
03/18/02
Lucky Europeans to receive Final Fantasy X extras
03/16/02
Grand Theft Auto III, others inspire Take-Two shares
03/06/02
Enix: No Dragon Warrior IV for you, English pig-dogs
03/06/02
Final Fantasy XI details
02/01/01
Type-S receives suck-ass reviews
01/29/01
GameBoy development denied
01/22/01
Chrono Trigger, Final Fantasy IV release apparent
01/22/01
Hello, Final Fantasy XII
01/22/01
Final Fantasy VII, VIII, IX see PS2 re-release
01/19/01
The Bouncer kicks Japanese ass
01/19/01
Final Fantasy X delayed in Japan
01/19/01
Square: Financial loss for fiscal year expected
12/19/00
Chrono Trigger and Final Fantasy IV for North America?
12/18/00
The Bouncer, Type-S release dates
12/17/00
The Bouncer received as lukewarm in Japan
12/13/00
Yoshitaka Amano interviewed
12/11/00
Final Fantasy movie composer named
12/04/00
Final Fantasy Anthology incompatible with PS2
11/30/00
Final Fantasy X complete
11/28/00
New Square title to be revealed soon
11/22/00
PlayOnline launch postponed
11/20/00
The Bouncer presell merchandise
11/16/00
The two sides meet
11/15/00
Final Fantasy IX reviews
11/11/00
Final Fantasy IX commercials online
10/19/00
Square + X-box = Final Fantasy XI
10/16/00
Random Quotation
10/16/00
North American gamers receive FF9 guide
10/12/00
The Bouncer delayed...
10/10/00
New release dates for The Bouncer
10/06/00
The Bouncer release
09/25/00
Win a trip to meet Aya Brea in LA
09/25/00
Wonderswan Color Japanese launch date
09/17/00
Random Quotation
09/06/00
Final Fantasy IX release date, demo info
08/28/00
US gamers deprived of Final Fantasy IX guide
08/28/00
Square plans Nasdaq listing
08/28/00
Square and Bandai partner for new handheld
08/28/00
Final Fantasy VIII joins Greatest Hits line
08/28/00
People apparently buying Chrono Cross
08/27/00
Square and Nintendo make sweet, sweet love once again
08/15/00
Final Fantasy IX Interview
08/15/00
Chrono Cross Ships Today
08/11/00
Chrono Cross Tops Sales Charts
07/31/00
Final Fantasy IX Translation Tidbit
07/25/00
Chrono Cross Release Pushed Back
07/25/00
Square Selling Shares
07/21/00
Final Fantasy IX Reviewed
07/18/00
Threads of Fate Ships
07/18/00
Chrono Cross Promo Goods
07/16/00
Final Fantasy IX Sales Figures
07/12/00
No Square Games at Fall TGS
07/12/00
All Star Pro Wrestling Tops June Sales Charts
07/08/00
FF9 and PE2 Soundtracks Published For North America
07/05/00
Final Fantasy IX Preorders at 1.35 Million
06/29/00
New Final Fantasy IX Movies!
06/28/00
Weekly Famitsu Rates Final Fantasy IX
06/28/00
Dream Factory to Develop Network Title
06/25/00
The Square Haven Mission Statement
06/25/00
Nintendo Forms New Second Party
06/06/00
Legend of Mana Ships
01/01/00
Final Fantasy IX Delayed, Earnings Reduced for Square
12/01/99
Parasite Eve II Preorder Campaign
10/28/99
Yoshitaka Amano Does New York
10/14/99
Dewprism Lookind Good for US Gamers
10/05/99
Palisades' Guardian Force Figures Make Their Way to the US
10/05/99
Square Millennium Conference Details
10/05/99
Chrono Cross Moved Up a Month
10/01/99
Track List Surfaces for Anthology Music CD
09/18/99
Parasite Eve II Revealed at TGS
09/18/99
Chrono Trigger PSX Details
09/17/99
Final Fantasy VIII Sales Impress
09/02/99
Final Fantasy VIII PC Propaganda
09/01/99
Final Fantasy VIII Early Shipment Holds True
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