March 28, 2008 , Square Haven has ceased updates indefinitely. What you see below is an archived version.
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News / And the Lord blessed us thusly... with Contra
staff
Obviously Contra is not a popular topic around here...
I HATE YOU ALL!
Um, they kinda fucked up the gameplay by only having three weapons available. And what's up with that Hit Rate stuff? Let's not forget it's a totally unrealistic series...I mean, when I jump, I don't flip every single time.
staff
... And what is a totally realistic series?
Like that one about a hot girl in a multi-functional suit who vanquishes evil alien creatures and whose arch nemesis is a gargantuan brain?
staff
ah, touch
My enemy is an gargantuan brain. He is very mean and terrorizes my neighborhood.
staff
What? You know me?
staff
Paul, you insidious bastard! You assured me that your reign of terror was at an end. You're fired!
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