News / 2007 / May / 06

Masato Kato KO'd in random encounter

Published at 13:48:48 PT
Reported by Jeriaska
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Masato Kato was KO'd in a random encounter Tuesday. The famed Square Enix scenario writer and director who was responsible for such intricate plotlines and imaginative scenarios as were featured in Xenogears, Chrono Cross, and Dawn of Mana was KO'd while shopping for clothing in the Ginza Plains. He is survived by his wife and seven children.

Masato Kato was traveling on foot with composers Kenji Ito and Kumi Tanioka last Tuesday when the party met with a random encounter. Upon seeing the fire-breathing Behemoth, Ito and Tanioka fled at once, while Kato chose to fight the monster for gold and experience, a decision in direct violation with Square Enix protocol. Kato battled two rounds before being KO'd by an MP-consuming flare spell, one of the most devastating black magic spells known to man. The enemy absconded and has not been seen since, despite efforts by the Final Fantasy franchise developer to organize an exhaustive man-hunt.

Still at large

"He tried to be a hero," said Kenji Ito of his long-time friend and collaborator. The prominent musician added, with head bowed, "Now he is among heroes."

The Light Warriors, a group of well-trained vigilantes hired by Square Enix, have been charged with the task of finding and slaying the Behemoth that KO'd the renowned game designer. "It's tough. We've been hunting Behemoths all night," said Alcove, the Light Warriors' experienced monk. "We still don't know if we've found our man," he reported. "The fuckers all look the same."

Mourners gathered to remember Masato Kato

Friends and fellow employees of the Square Enix corporation met today to pay their respects to the KO'd event director of such beloved games as Children of Mana and Deep Labyrinth. Over three hundred people were in attendance, including family, business partners, and fans. The eulogy was delivered by Yoichi Wada, followed by an orchestrated version of Dawn of Mana's main theme, arranged specially for the occasion by Kenji Ito. Masato Kato is remembered by his wife and seven children.

*Update*: Doctors administered a phoenix down. He's fine now.

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Masato Kato KO'd in random encounter