March 28, 2008, Square Haven has ceased updates indefinitely. What you see below is an archived version.
News / 2002 /
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- Capcom sucks, loses money in 2001
Developer/publisher Capcom announced a financial loss of 4.9 billion yen for 2001 despite a 28% sales increase. What a bunch of dumbasses. - Sony apparently hires monkeys to test broadband units, royally fucks up
"When the software is installed on the PS2, the console will no longer be able to use the Memory Card Manager and CD Player. An update patch to fix the problem will be released by Sony via the PS BroadBand, once the online services launch". Madman's Cafe
- Holy shit! He-Man game in the works
By the power of greyskull, TDK will be developing an action title based on the He-Man franchise. That is all. GameSpot
- Famitsu reviews Final Fantasy XI
Famitsu Weekly scored Final Fantasy XI at 38/40 in a recent issue. In related news, Square is a bunch of freakin retards. - Final Fantasy XI launches, PlayOnline crashes, Square associates resort to uncontrollable sobbing
Square made gaming history with one of the most notoriously botched launches of all time. Full Article - Solid Snake Pro Skater revealed at E3 in all its magnificent glory
From the producer who brought you Metal Gear, Metal Gear II: Snake's Revenge, Metal Gear: Ghost Babel, Metal Gear Solid, Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty - among other titles named METAL GEAR - comes METAL GEAR Solid 2 Substance. Full Article
- Lance Bass, other actors of lesser importance flock to voice Kingdom Hearts
Square has managed to recruit various talents such as Haley Joel Osment and Lance Bass to voice in the North American Kingdom Hearts. Full Article
- Yamauchi steps down, appoints elaborate team of monkeys to succeed
Yamauchi's 53 year reign as Nintendo's president will come to an abrupt end this coming Friday. "Old man Oochi," as he is often referred, is a pivotal Nintendo figure and was a pioneer in shifting the company into the gaming field.
- Procrastination desists; Square Haven launches; world peace, Star Wars on DVD expected to follow
The Square Haven has actually, really, truly launched thanks to the pack of Venezuelan monkeys we purchased for labor and the guidance of Matt's cat, Gump. Full Article
- Tingle to appear in GC Zelda
Oh, yes, and apparently the Gamecube will connect to the GBA version of Zelda via a Game Boy in Link's inventory. When activated, a map will appear on the GBA screen where Tingle can be used drop bombs on Moblins and whatnot. GameSpot
- Sonic Team wants their toys back.
During E3, five PSO Card Battle character models were stolen from their display case. Without the prototypes, Sonic Team's had trouble continuing development of the game. They'd better be given back quick, or somebody's going to have to face my mighty fist of justice. Link - Final Fantasy X spin-off titles confirmed
Gameforms reports that two Final Fantasy X psuedo-sequels are currently in the works. Director Yoshinori Kitase will oversee development of both "Yuna Version" and "Rikku's Lesbo-rotic Adventures," both slated for a summer release in Japan. Games Are Fun was the original source for this story but we refuse to cite a source that uses the word "booyeah," let alone twice in the same article. - Ticketless Baby Refused Entry to Game
SAPPORO, Japan - An eight-month-old Canadian baby was denied access to the Sapporo World Cup stadium for Germany's 8-0 demolition of Saudi Arabia because he did not have a ticket, a Japanese newspaper reported Sunday. Reuters|article - Thai girl fails to complete Bomberman, kills self
Ratchaburi, Thailand - Police believe that 12 year old Siriwan Khao-snoh recently took her own life as a result of frustration over failing to complete Bomberman. The child's mother on the other hand blames cartoons for driving her daughter into a mad fit of suicidal rage. GameSpot|article
- RPGFan posts extremely uninteresting interview with Enix
RPGFan recently interviewed Enix at E3 and has posted their soberingly boring interview here. Thanks, RPGFan! Link - FF XI PC this year, damages estimated
Square has confirmed that Final Fantasy XI in PC form will be released within the end of the year in Japan. Damages resulting from the history-making Final Fantasy XI release are estimated at ?100 million. The Madman's Cafe - Europeans stand together, demand ban on Xbox ad; Europe complies, bans said ad
"A controversial ad for the Microsoft X-Box... has been banned after 136 viewers complained. The ad starts with a baby boy being shot through a window by the force of his birth. He ages rapidly as he travels through the air, screaming, and finally crashes into his own grave as an old man". article|download commercial
- Final Fantasy Adventure Bible in the lap of the Gods
Square is planning a three-disc DVD collecting data, information, and media of Final Fantasy I through XI. The Adventure Bible will be released in Japan on July 25 for 13,000 yen (about $104 US). Gameforms - Link to appear in Soul Calibur 2
No, really. Full Article
- Conundrum ensues: Gamecube Final Fantasy not actually Final Fantasy?
Among comments of retaliation regarding Nintendo's negative comments regarding slack Final Fantasy XI sales, Square CEO Youichi Wada claimed that although Hiroshi Yamauchi called Square's Gamecube title Final Fantasy, the title has not been decided yet. Madman's Cafe
13 May 2002 by 
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