- Xenosaga censored?
 While forum speculation has abounded regarding the censorship of the North American version of Xenosaga, Namco reps confirmed that all of the gratuitous violence will remain intact. (Xenosaga has received an ESRB "Teen" rating.) But, one scene will be omitted; let(s just say fanboys will have one less reason to bust a nut... read for yourself (if you dare). The Monolith Soft RPG and spiritual predecessor to Xenogears is scheduled for release February 25.
- Playboy, Hugh Hefner create gaming franchise
 "Playboy Enterprises announced that it will partner with ARUSH Entertainment and Groove Games to produce a line of original titles based on the rise of Hef's empire... The first title in the series, which one might describe as 'SimHef,' will let players establish and build their own Playboy franchise from the ground up." I need not editorialize on this story... it's a joke enough as it is without my witty interjections. Gamers.com ?
- People are buying Xboxes in Australia
 According to GamePro, people are apparently buying Xboxes in Australia, where Microsoft has had an increasing market share -- just 4% less than that of Sony. We can't confirm the reliability of this report, however, and are understandably skeptical of its accuracy. Besides, I mean, who gives a shit about the Australian gaming market anyway? They sell, like, 32 consoles in the course of a year. Link
- Sega re-opens European offices, fails to realize that no one owns Xboxes there
 Gamers.com reports that Sega plans to reopen European offices after closure last year in an attempt to cut costs. Sony will publish PS2 titles whereas Gamecube and Xbox games will be published by Infogrames. Sega is expected to take over publishing in 2003.
- Ocarina of Time, Ura Zelda included in US Zelda
 Nintendo of America has announced that your wildest dream has come true. No, I'm afraid it's not the rumored Shigeru Miyamoto/Missy "Misdemeanor" Elliot collaboration, rather, US preorders for The Legend of Zelda: the Wind Waker will include the Ocarina of Time/Ura Zelda bonus disc (named "Master Quest" for US release) included in Japanese preorders (article). Zelda will be released in North America on March 24. Gamers.com ?
- nVidia presents 'dawn of cinematic computing' in the form of sexy, super hot pixie
 To present the GeForce FX processor to the public, nVidia has developed - apparently with some help from Final Fantasy team members - a rendering of a sexy pixie. You can see the video and read the article (in which the author is clearly far too excited about said pixie) at ExtremeTech.com
- 'Beltway Sniper' video-game release delayed out of respect for victims
 REDWOOD CITY, CA - Video-game developer Pixxel Arts announced Monday that it will delay the release of Beltway Sniper: Silent Strike out of respect for the victims of the recent D.C.-area shootings. TheOnion.com ?
- Near-blind Game Boy gamers discover sacrifice was in vain
Nintendo has just announced the GameCube Game Boy Player, a peripheral which enables gamers to play games from all incarnations of the infamous handheld system... huge, fully-lit, and on their television screens. Full Article
- World discovers Japanese people are damn lucky
 One of gaming's biggest pre-order goodies is coming to a store near you... if you live in Japan. Japanese gamers who pre-order Link's latest adventure on the GameCube, the Legend of Zelda: Kaze no Takuto, will receive a bonus disc that includes the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, the previously un-released Ura-Zelda, and some trailers for upcoming GC games. Full Article
- Acclaim's latest promotional stunt to pique interest of hornball guys
To promote its upcoming tittie-fest (but with bikes!) BMX XXX, Acclaim has come up with a "contest" where any hornball guy can nominate his "girlfriend" as "Miss BMX XXX" and other hornball guys can ogle pictures of other guys' "girlfriends." The grand prize? Access to Scores strip club in New York. (No word on VIP privileges, though.) Participate in the base objectification of women at BMXXXX.com.
- Industry sees biggest ironic incident since Street Fighter III
 In a twisted turn of events, Acclaim has announced that BMX XXX - the perverted game for pervs where pervs control topless BMX bikers - will be censored for the PS2 version per complaints from Sony. The Gamecube version, however, will have boobies. *collective gasp* Gamers.com ?
- Nintendo sued for $165 million; allegedly stole candy from babies
The European Commission has sued Nintendo, among seven other gaming firms, for practicing a "cartel-like" arrangement with the aim of partitioning the market and inflating wholesale prices for its consoles and games. Nintendo does not plan on rolling over and getting spanked by the EC, however, and will lodge an appeal. money.cnn.com ?
- Various retailers: "This game is stupid. We do not carry stupid games. Oh, wait... we do have Egg Mania: Eggstream Madness... Nevermind..."
 Reuters reports that retail chains Toys R Us, Wal-mart, and KB Toys have all refused to sell the upcoming Acclaim title BMX XXX, perhaps the most prolificly stupid idea for a game since the conception of Shaq-Fu.
- GBA2 rumors persist
In addition to tangible reports of a back-lit GBA, new rumors are emerging of a completely new, completely remodeled GBA in development at Nintendo's evil volcanic lair. Full Article
- 24 year-old Korean man dead; Warcraft III suspected
An unemployed 24 year-old man has been reportedly found dead in the bathroom of an Internet cafe in South Korea after a long round of gameplaying. Witnesses of the spectacular 86 hour gaming session claim that the man collapsed during play and, shortly after recovering, staggered into the bathroom where his pitiful life - void of all meaning and purpose - came to an abrupt end. SHM.com
- Sony, Nintendo, Konami currently hold top Japanese gaming markets
Research by Japanese company Enterbrain, Inc. has revealed that Sony, Nintendo, and Konami are currently leading the Japanese markets of console, handheld, and game sales, respectively. Full Article
- Microsoft: "ah aim ta kill yoo with it. mmhm."
 Gamers.com reports that, in reply to all the recent PS3 buzz Sony has been voluntarily dispensing, Micrsosoft's J Allard has made a hollow promise to the gaming public. "...we'll promise...that they won't get a head start next time. And I'll just leave it at that."
- Nintendo slashes sales expectations, blames Germans
Citing slow hardware demand in Japan and Germany and strong Japanese currency or something, Nintendo has reported to investors that mid-year profits will be 77% lower that initially expected. Nintendo will supposedly break even, however, after profits are considered from Nintendo's stake in Rare, which were recently sold. Nintendo profits from the $375 million sale were $183 million. The missing $192 million have been spent financing Satoru Iwata's brand new yacht. Gamespot
- Acclaim does something stupid. Again.
 First, they tried advertising on people's graves. Then they made some guy wait in line 50 days for a crappy Turok game. Oh, and then they gave people money to change their name to Turok. Could Acclaim Entertainment possibly pull off something even stupider? The answer is yes. Full Article
- Sony presents cum-colored PS2 to Japanese gamers
 Sony has unveiled the latest PS2 variant, "Milky White," recently via the Tokyo Game Show in Japan. The translucent console will also be released alongside matching controllers and DVD remotes. Japanese gamers are expected to "gobble up" Milky White as soon as it's "released" onto store shelves. Gamers.com
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18 Dec 2002 by 
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